Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
 
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