LOS ANGELES, CA—The Los Angeles Lakers delighted users of the Authorized
Version of the Scriptures all around the world Sunday, when the sports
team announced it would be joining the King James Only movement in a
four-year, $154 million deal.
“This is excellent news,” Pastor Bob Heathrow of Majesty King James Church
1611 in El Monte, California told reporters. “I’ve often said what the
Lakers needed to regain their competitive edge was to acknowledge that
the King James Bible is the only inerrant version of the Word of God,
and that all other versions are Satan’s ways to deceive the masses into
swallowing the agenda of the Deep State and the New World Order wholesale.”
“With the Authorized Version on the roster, they’re sure to take home a
championship this season,” he added before beginning a rant about NASA
covering up the truth about the flat earth.
At publishing time, a heartbroken Cleveland Cavaliers front office had come
out against the King James Version in favor of “literally anything else.”
( Please be aware that this satire was printed by a Christian-oriented blog )